26 weeks Bellylicious

In an attempt to catch up and take some pictures of my "Rowen" belly I will start to do these weekly. I had a picture of my "Noah belly" every single week of my pregnancy with him so I am trying to be fair =)

Good Day

Yesterday was awesome. Not because it was Valentines Day, in fact we sort of forgot about that holiday except for the Diego chocolates I got Noah ( that he loved). We had a kidless dinner on Saturday night which was nice but yesterday was the cherry on top- we went to the aquarium! Noah loved it, and seeing him so excited and happy made me so excited and so happy. He kept squeezing my husband and I together , as if to do a group family hug, these are those moments, the ones you dream about when thinking about having kids. Our little trio is about to grow so I am trying to savor a few more "Noah as an only" moments before spring! On the car ride home he told us all about the sting rays, seals, fish and sharks- waving his little plastic shark we got him as a souvenir, it was the perfect day.

Clouds

There are some dark clouds hanging over my office, out of the three of us therapists, now 2 have had a miscarriage, 2 have had NICU babies and one is having surgery this week for a really large cyst. We seem to have scarred vaginas.

Remember my co-worker and good friend, the one who has shared 2 pregnancies with me? She had a miscarriage yesterday....

I feel so bad for her, actually for some odd reason when she called in tears it saddened me more than my own back in May. I was a seasoned veteran of bad news when it came to the birth process but my friend, she has had nothing but rainbows and sunshine. It sucks, and there is not much anyone can do but listen and be a good friend. I feel bad sharing an office with her, with my big ol' belly wearing all her maternity hand me downs.

If our 3rd coworker has a miscarriage we are swearing there is something in the water!!!!

Broken record

I know at times I sound like a broken record, it's how my mind feels on a daily basis. I am always stuck in this go between of happiness and this sort of sheer panic. Time is flying by. I can't believe half of february is almost over. I am due in May. I can almost taste the first bits of Spring and right behind that, my little itty bitty will be ripe and rearing to go. I am happy. I am scared. I am on the verge of panicking about it with each thought, but somehow I don't. All the "what-if's" of the unknown of Noah come flooding back and I need to take a deep breathe. No one, not even my husband can share in this complex web of emotions I have spinning in my head. I keep it to myself because god help me if I hear "it will be fine, stop worrying" one more time I may scream. Yes, it will be fine, it has to be fine but please humor my insanity! I don't want to sound like a broken record but most of all I don't want to feel like a broken record. I am so ready for sweet steady music to play in the mind.

Chatty

Noah is now talking in sentences. Granted, he messes the order of words up, for example : " put me down" is "put down me"- but hearing my little miracle speak and put words together is music to my ears and soul. He is becoming such a little person with opinions and humor, it's so great to watch his growth unfold and it makes me excited to think we will be getting to know a new little person soon enough! These moments are little lights at the end of the tunnel and they are so refreshing.

24 weeks, 3 days

I can't believe I am almost 25 weeks pregnant- time is flying! I waft and wane between sheer terror and extreme excitement. A snuggy buggy new baby ::::excitement:::::, Two children :::::holy shit::::::. My mantra is "it will all be o.k". I have my eye on the prize, an uneventful labor and delivery and a healthy little man!

Here is my first "real" belly picture. With Noah, I took them every single week. This time life is let's just say a little more chaotic so poor baby number 2 got the shaft! I am going to try to take a few more before I pop him out. I also added his 20 week u/s profile picture. Isn't he cute? I think he looks just like his big brother!!!