Rowen Francis is here!

I had a baby yesterday. Today we are HOME. What a beautiful thing!

It all started on Friday, I was vomiting for the past few days, and suddenly was spiking a fever. 101.8 temp at 38.5 weeks pregnant makes people nervous so off to labor and delivery I went. While I was there for some fluids and monitoring I started having contractions. By 5am I thought maybe I should call my husband and doula. By 7am my doula was with me and I was in active labor. My husband? He was with Noah waiting for my mother who was taking her sweet time. Husband arrives at 7:30. I had Rowen at 8am. Water broke and NINE minutes later I had a baby. Crazy Crazy FAST!!!! When my water broke there was meconium in it which freaked me out a bit but all is well. Rowen is 7 pounds 13 oz and 21.5 inches long. He is healthy as can be. Because I had a fever he had bloodwork and a culture done, all normal. With a little begging and pleading they let me come home today, 24 hours after having a baby. So very different than with Noah!!!

I feel great, no ripping, no crazy hormones- just plain at ease. I am sad for what we missed out on with Noah, all this quiet bonding and snuggling but not harping on that and enjoying both my boys for the different little miracles that they are.

Rough

This week has been really rough. I know for the most part I have been pretty optimistic lately and my posts are usually very positive, this one may be a bit more raw. I don't know where it came from but I started googling things, things that happened to Noah, all his symptoms, the weird blood test results he had in his first days of life. Google is bad. Very bad. I know this from experience because I spent the first year of Noah's life trying to get some answers and got a Phd from Doctor Google himself. So all this manic, hormonal driven googling got a little out of control. I had horrible insomnia, throwing up, not eating, crying...fun times. I was so sure something is wrong with Noah and will pop up at any moment....and it will all also happen to this baby as well.

Anxiety?
PTSD?
You think???

After some soul searching and a talk with my husband I have stayed away from google, and I am trying to believe in the power of positive thinking. This will not happen again. Noah albeit a medical mystery is thriving and is perfect. This is what I have to hold on to. Last night I had a dream and while I can't remember the details my grandmother was in it. My grandmother always comes to my dreams when I need her and there she was, I am taking it as a sign that things will be o.k.

Full Term

I celebrated full termness by landing at the birth center, for fluids, since I was so severely dehydrated my ketones ( whatever those are) were "off the charts". I can thank the rascals at my job for sharing their stomach bug which was very very ugly. My hormones, emotions, whatever you want to call them are now at an all time "high". I have been having some pretty intense contractions for about 3 days now and found out yesterday I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Looks like this little boy will make his debut before his May 24th due date! I am scared, anxious, terrified, petrified, excited, happy, elated, you name- I have it swirling around!