Broken record

I know at times I sound like a broken record, it's how my mind feels on a daily basis. I am always stuck in this go between of happiness and this sort of sheer panic. Time is flying by. I can't believe half of february is almost over. I am due in May. I can almost taste the first bits of Spring and right behind that, my little itty bitty will be ripe and rearing to go. I am happy. I am scared. I am on the verge of panicking about it with each thought, but somehow I don't. All the "what-if's" of the unknown of Noah come flooding back and I need to take a deep breathe. No one, not even my husband can share in this complex web of emotions I have spinning in my head. I keep it to myself because god help me if I hear "it will be fine, stop worrying" one more time I may scream. Yes, it will be fine, it has to be fine but please humor my insanity! I don't want to sound like a broken record but most of all I don't want to feel like a broken record. I am so ready for sweet steady music to play in the mind.