I did not realize that being pregnant again was going to drudge up so many memories, both good and bad. But when I started crying at the doctors office today, recounting Noah's birth for what seems like the millionth time I realized just how hard this is all going to be.
The appointment was also full of good moments however- I got to hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler and my new doctors and midwives are just nothing short of amazing. She requested Noah's birth records and really just eased my mind- I feel like they are listening and supporting but also assuring me that this will not happen again.
This will not happen again....
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Navigating the unexpected twists and turns of motherhood
Baby Blessing
Miracle Man
Noah's Story
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom. Finding out I was pregnant in March of 2007 was the most wonderful time in my life. The future seemed so bright and the possibilities endless. We were young, happy and healthy- nothing could possibly go wrong..until it did.
On November 10th, 2007 at 3:50 am my bouncing baby boy came into the world pink and screaming. 10 fingers, 10 toes, big feet and a head full of dark hair. We joked he would be a soccer player with those feet and all was well in the world...until it wasn't.
about 4 hours after birth while waiting in the nursery for his bath, Noah Joseph stopped breathing. A nurse looked over and saw my baby who was once pink was now grey. Noah was rushed to the NICU all the while having apnea episodes. A CAT scan revealed a severely swollen brain and an EEG done later that night showed seizure activity.
The once bright and promising future was now filled with pessimistic doctor's, fear and sorrow. The day my son was born was the worst day of my life and the best day of my life all wrapped in to one confusing package.
Since Noah was born without any signs of trauma it was immediately thought that he had a metabolic condition although tests subsequently ruled this out. Within two days Noah's brain was no longer swollen and his EEG was normal. An MRI done was normal as well and we were sent home with no answers and the dreaded "wait and see".
What followed was post partum depression, anger, sadness but also the most intense and beautiful love I have ever known.
Becoming a parent is not at all what I expected but it's the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. 2 years later Noah is the happiest, thriving, typical 2 year old boy with no signs that his brain injury will ever slow him down. He is my miracle.
Welcome to Par(ent)adise
About Me
- Mommy07
- NY
- Wine drinking, picture taking, social working, Noah & Rowen loving, husband nagging- in no particular order
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