Jinx?

So I put a pretty little "ticker" on my blog. I was thinking of not doing this until I at least see a heartbeat but today I am pregnant so why not celebrate? I don't want to jinx myself but I also want to enjoy this, such a fine line. 

Yesterday I went and had my progesterone and my beta's taken, I go back on the 16th for more blood and then an appointment on friday. I am feeling mostly calm and positive but when I start getting excited I always have this nagging feeling that I shouldn't get excited yet. Praying for good progesterone and beta's that double!

Since I am pee-on-a-stick happy ( and thank god for dollar store pregnancy tests) I have been taking a test every morning. They keep getting darker, and today's like was the darkest yet- this make me very happy. I could stare at that line all day.....

Up and down, and then back up

I waited until saturday morning to tell my husband. I knew he was going to freak. We got the bill for our school taxes this week, 5,000 dollars due by 11/5- ha! Needless to say we have been stressed about our finances. I knew that news of a baby would send him over the edge, and it did. The whole birth control "error" was really my husbands doing. Yes it takes two to tango but the man is the one in control of his ship sooooo when he got semi-mad I freaked. I am hormonal and of course on edge since that is where pregnancy sends me, so his getting mad did not really fly well. I wasn't going to tell anyone but since my at-times-a-complete-ass of a husband reacted the way he did, I called my mom. She told me to give him some time, which I did and by Sunday we were both starting to get excited about a new baby. Lots of ups and downs as usual. 

I am trying not to psycho analyze every pregnancy symptom ( or lack there of) but it's so hard to not constantly think something is wrong. It's going to be a long 40 weeks! And I thought that I'd never say this but I *hope* by breasts start burning and I am so pukeyI can't stand it....at least then I will know the little nugget is doing what it's supposed to be doing in there!!

MAYbe a baby?

I am pregnant. Two.pink.lines. Due date is May 25th, 2010. I am shocked. My husband has super sperm. NObody knows as I just found out. Thank God for my "Secret Blog". Please pray for a sticky baby!

Crying is for babies!

Noah did not cry- he started playing and didn't look back. I will admit I sobbed all the way to work but we both survived. Noah was happy all day and while he only ate ritz crackers for lunch he did take a two hour nap! Crying is for babies, not my BIG boy. Here is to hoping day 2 is as uneventful!

I got the daycare blues

Today I must drop my child, my everything off at a virtual strangers house. Yes I have met her and yes my coworker brings her daughter there but still, she really is a stranger, especially to Noah.  I know he is going to cry, probably scream. I know it's going to rip my heart out. I know we have no other option as I need to work. I know it will be o.k. ( at least thats what I keep telling myself!)Please pray for a painless transition!

Back to school

No I am not a teacher, nor do I have a school aged child yet but today, there is something refreshing and new about the very first day of school. Since I work at a residential treatment center with an on campus school I get to enjoy this momentous occasion somewhat and I can't deny that it brings me back to days of new teachers, no cloths and shoes and a whole new world of endless possibilities. Ahh, the joys of being a kid- if only we knew then what we know now!

I am sitting at my computer, eating my breakfast and watching Noah play. He is creating a dialogue where ( as I can make out) Truck is getting ready to go Night Night. What an imagination of this little guy. I wish I could bottle him up and keep him like this forever, a tiny little man. I wonder what he will be like in four short years when it is time for him to make that trek off to school. He starts daycare this week...that is bad enough!

ChaChaChanges

Today I took Noah to "Snip-it's", an overpriced haircutting chain geared for kids. Noah has had his haircut before but daddy has always taken him and since he is always mistaken for a girl and as his 2ND BIRTHDAY is looming I decided to accompany my guy for his new big boy look.

Here I was, camera in tow, all excited, and let me just tell you it was a disaster. Noah screamed as if someone was attempting to murder him. That poor girl, trying to make our "experience" fun....

the final result is very cute although I may have my mommy goggles on and I do miss his long hair. 

On other change fronts, the air is getting crisper here in new york and as hard as fall can be, it's a lovely change. I was not sure if I was going to share this here or not but decided I would. We had a birth control error of sorts the other night, on CD16, otherwise known as my fertile peak. I know we said we were not going to start trying until November but I am secretly hoping I am pregnant. Trying not to get my hopes hope, but will test next weekend. Prayers for a sticky May baby perhaps?