Memories

I did not realize that being pregnant again was going to drudge up so many memories, both good and bad. But when I started crying at the doctors office today, recounting Noah's birth for what seems like the millionth time I realized just how hard this is all going to be.
The appointment was also full of good moments however- I got to hear the baby's heartbeat on the doppler and my new doctors and midwives are just nothing short of amazing. She requested Noah's birth records and really just eased my mind- I feel like they are listening and supporting but also assuring me that this will not happen again.
This will not happen again....

Blah!

I've got a case of the first trimester blues- tired, cranky and puking. Add in a two year old and it makes for a long and rough 12 weeks! I am *almost* 9 weeks so it seems there may be a light coming at the end of this tunnel! I waft and wane between being extremely excited and extremely freaked out by the fact that I am expecting. I have 7 more months to get used to the idea!

I have been busy planning Noah's 2nd birthday although I am not quite as creative as last year with the homemade invites and coordinating decor/theme. We are doing pony rides and then a party back at the house- simple enough but it's starting to feel like a huge task since we have a large family. I am thinking baby number 2 will get the shaft when it comes to pictures, handmade things and such, it's already getting tiring and we are still just on Noah =)

x2

Yesterday I was about ready to puke or breathe into a paper bag waiting for my appointment. I envisioned seeing a tiny beating heart and just being on cloud nine for the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong, seeing that peanut and that little flicker was wonderful, such a relief and a blessing. I drove and met my mother to pick up Noah. He was very very cranky due to his lack of napping. I was tired and hungry and had a 45 minute drive home. On the way my husband informed me he would be working late. Really trivial things but enough to send my hormones raging. I was in a "funk" for the rest of the evening.
Since we all have a bad cold, I was up tossing and turning most of the night. During one of my mid-night wake ups I started thinking about the day and how my mood turned. It was then that I got thinking how scary having two children is. I mean, with what we have been through with number one I am petrified to do this again. Seeing that little beating heart brought it all into reality- we are really having another baby! How will I have enough love, patience, time, energy, the list goes on and on. As I lay there panicking I had to keep talking myself "down", it will all work out, it will all be ok. I know in reality this is probably true and the odds of another traumatic birth are slim but it's still scary and still enough to keep me squirming!

Heartbeat, check!

So I can scratch one thing off of my every growing list of worries, baby K is measuring right on target and has a healthy heartbeat!!! I don't know what it is, a toddler going through the terrible two's, wicked morning sickness, and a really bad cold hitting our house this past week - I just haven't felt the urge to blog. However, I knew I needed to make a heartbeat announcement since it is really good news =)

Happy 4 years!

Last year I posted some wedding pictures, so I won't bore with more of those! But this picture cracks me up. It's from our rehearsal dinner. When we got married I was at my smallest, about 110 pounds and my husband was at his heaviest- ever.  My hubby is 6'3 and was like a linebacker, lol. I get a good laugh because 4 years later I am about as far away from 110 pounds as one can get. My husband? Skinny, skinny skinny. It's not fair =) But at least I am the trim one in our wedding pictures!!! 

6 weeks

Today I am 6 weeks and while I want to savor this pregnancy, I can't wait until I am past 6 weeks 5 days, the day I started spotting the last time. I am pretty optimistic since old mother morning sickness has come a' knocking and while it's pretty shitty, it's also a good sign- so yes, puking makes me happy!
Only 8 more days until we ( hopefully) see the heartbeat!

Fall in Love