That is how I felt saturday. Mean and witchy. I had a Mommy Dearest moment.
Noah's eating, or lack thereof is driving me bonkers. His pickiness, his hour long lunches, they are beginning to rule my life. I have to calculate my schedule around Noah's eating. Sounds simple right? In my house it is anything but.
So on Saturday, after my 9th attempt to give his something, anything that he would eat and he continued to refuse, I swiftly picked him up from his high chair, plopped him in his crib and went downstairs to cry. Not exactly Joan Crawford, but mean enough for me to feel guilty. I don't know why the food thing drives me so nutso but it does. I had an eating disorder for many years and was hospitalized as a teen. I don't know if there is a connect, a control thing on my part, but I am thinking maybe there is. I don't want Noah to have an unhealthy relationship with food and I fear this is where we are headed.
Ok back to my "moment". So after I had a good cry, I composed myself and went to check on Noah who had been crying and was silent now for a good 5 minutes. When I went it, he was sitting in his crib, holding lovey and talking to him in his cute little jibberish. I melted. He was telling Lovey how mean mommy was. Since I can't translate jibberish this is only speculation, but it appeared this is what he meant to say.
I got a book on feeding issues and healthy child/parent/eating relationships- I cracked that bad boy open last night and I am learning, and trying to take it one day, or bite, at a time....
3 comments:
I understand. Adam decided he would only eat 1 meal a day last week... I tried everything... every meal... it was just so frustrating. Especially with his milk strike. Good news is that he's finally drinking milk again!!! Yay!!! I think kids really do go through stages with eating... eating lots one week, barely any the next week, etc. I *try* not to get too worked up about it. Going to a really cool pediatrition has helped, too... he is the opposite of me on the "worrying spectrum"... thank goodness! That book you have sounds interesting... let me know how it is... I may need to check it out myself!
Um, that is no Mommy Dearest moment, that was TOTALLY sane. You were on the verge/getting frustrated, so instead of letting it out right then and there you put Noah down and walked away. That is good parenting!!!!
It's good that you got that book. It's hard, obviously--you want to nourish your child. They just have their nonhungry days, and you have to accept that. Max is very skinny, I want him to eat, eat, eat all the time! Saturday, though, he wouldn't eat lunch. Then all he wanted was a chocolate donut for lunch. What can you do? Just your best!
I'm with beth and ellen. hang in there.
signed "been there"
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