32 weeks!

I can't believe I am 32 weeks pregnant. I can't believe baby Rowen is almost here. I can't believe I am going to a mom of two, let alone two boys . Life in it's perfectly unplanned finest! I have started with the insomnia, which creeps it way in at around 2am and lingers until about 4am. Between the heartburn, nausea, and weird numb crotch I have going on it makes it almost impossible for me to get a good night sleep. During these late night insomnia fests I have found my mind wandering to a million + 1 different places. These range from the whole brain swelling, neonatal seizure fears of Noah's past to the more mainstream how is Noah going to handle a sibling entering our home. I must say it's starting to get mentally exhausting. I hate to "rush life" and while I am notorious for doing this I just really want Rowen here already. Gone are the sunshine and rainbow pregnancy days of 2007, this time I am ready to be done with a healthy newborn in my arms!

I have grown so anxious lately about Noah and his feelings. He is becoming such a little person, talking in 4-5 word sentences and is such a mama's boy. Despite all the drama and tension my husband and I have had over the years we really are very close knit, very affectionate and very happy in our little trio. I know that Rowen is a blessing and will be such a great addition but it's all just very scary! I don't want Noah to ever feel unloved or second best, I don't want him to feel sad. Couple this with the fears that something will go wrong during labor and I am just a hormonal train wreck. May 24th can not come soon enough!