I have a slight suspicion that is has something to do with the fact that he is actually eating-yesterday he downed 4 jars of baby food, a ton of puffs, some cheese, three french fries, and a partridge in a pear tree.... ( actually no partridge but he would have eaten it pureed with some pears from the tree).
The weather here has been really beautiful the last few days, crisp, and fall like. This means Noah's birthday is approaching, My 3rd anniversary, and a lot of emotions from "this time last year". I am trying to stay busy and optimistic, enjoying all of the things I did last year, only now sharing them with Noah and seeing them through his eyes, and reveling in my miracle boy and
how much of the "wait and sees" he has accomplished in the past year.
I got the invite to the NICU Halloween party last night. Just seeing it made me cry. I wish I never knew the NICU, and the invite was one more reminder. We won't be going, don't get me wrong, I loved the nurses and I admire what they do, and I do plan on sending them a note with some 1 year pictures of Noah but I have no desire to see any of those faces ever again! ( hope that doesn't sound rude, it's not meant to!)
1 comment:
i also hate any NICU reminders. it's just traumatic to me. all day at work, i am online. i don't care if i get fired for this. i go on CP support groups all the time. meanwhile my baby hasn't even been diagnosed with that. it's a weird psychological thing i do to myself. i'm too scared to tell myself that noah will be ok. so instead, i try to force myself to accept that he might not be ok. so i go on these CP support groups. but then i am terrified because i do NOT ever want to be in that category. i don't want to sound offensive to anyone reading this. i am just so terrified. there are moms out there who can accept and handle this. i just can't. i raelly truly can't. i can't deal with doing PT/OT the rest of our lives. i can't deal with any of this. my noah has to come out ok. or i'll really die.
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