O.k. I am back from my pity party. 

I don't really feel the need to explain myself but I did want to say one thing before I move on. I love my little boy more than life itself and I by no means blame him for the negative path my life has sometimes taken this past year and half.  At times I feel I come across really pessimistic and maybe it's because I tend to post only when I am feeling really emotional, I dunno...but moving on...

My husband and I had a great talk on Saturday night. He took a drive. I vented on my blog. When he returned we sat on our back porch, he smoked a cigar and I had a marlboro light and we just communicated for once. I cried. He cried. But it was less about drama and us as individuals and more about our family and our future. Maybe there is some couples therapy in the works and maybe not, but it was definitely a good starting off point which gets me to my next topic, health.

I feel gross. I weigh 138 pounds which is heavier than I was 6 weeks post partum. I was always an exercise fanatic and I have become very out of shape. I am not a smoker but I have been bumming random cigarettes from people far too often. I drink way to much pinot and eat way too much cheddar cheese. Part of this has been the huge funk I have been in lately. Following the miscarriage I went over the edge in terms of indulging myself. It's time to stop. I know I have said this before but if I want to have more children I need to a) get my relationship under control and b) get myself under control. Lofty goals but necessary for our well being. 

Stay tuned!

Oh and one more thing: picky eating is not our only challenge- we have now adding hitting to our list, any suggestions????