Pause

All along I have looked forward to 11-10-08.  At a time of so much uncertainty it was my focal point, my lighthouse, my beacon of hope. In the earliest days, when there was so much focus on the negative possibilities, I thought that if we could make it to 11-10-08, we would be o.k. That not matter what, 11-10-08 would be a happy day, one of laughter, of celebration.

11-10-07 is somewhat of a distant memory now. Of course you never forget the birth of your child, no matter what the circumstances. I suspect that the sights, sounds, and tastes of that experience will be deeply etched in my mind forever. I also suspect that subsequent children will also find a way to etch their entrance into the world, into my heart, in the same vivid way that Noah did. 

Today marks the 11th month that Noah has been alive and thriving on this earth. He is quickly turning from baby to boy.  Surprisingly my joy regarding the quickly approaching date of 11-10-08 has been bittersweet. As any mother surely knows, your baby growing up is a hard pill to swallow! 

Noah's birthday invites came in the mail today, our 1 year family photo shoot with a fabulous  photographer is scheduled for next week, in about two weeks we are closing on our house, then Noah's first halloween ( the last of his "first" holiday's), then his birthday, then thanksgiving, then christmas...the season of chaos is approaching!!!

I am so grateful, I am so blessed. I am happy. I am content. But somehow...my baby is turning into a toddler. Where did time go?? Sometimes I wish life had a fast forward button, a stop button, a rewind button.

Today I wish I had a pause button. To savor these moments with my little guy before he grows like a weed and is no longer small enough to be carried in his infant seat =) ( O.k. O.k...at 17 pounds, he IS a peanut..but with a daddy who is 6'3 he is BOUND to grow!!)