Unnpregnant

My period was due yesterday. I usually cramp and have all the symptoms before it arrives and I don't. I know logically that I am not pregnant because really it's not very possible this month. I am mad that my body seems to be flawed and where I once boasted how regular and fertile I was I am now scared that having a healthy pregnancy and baby may not happen. So with all these thoughts swirling through my mind what do I do? I take the last digital pregnancy test of course! Why did I do that? I really don't know. Like I said, I know I am not pregnant, just late but I couldn't resist the urge. As the hour glass symbol ticked on the screen I could feel my pulse quickening and my heart pounding, and the not pregnant popped up and my heart sank. It was a total set up for disappointment and once again the sadness for january baby rushed back. I would be in my 2nd trimester, probably finding out the sex in a few week. I just hope my period shows up soon to give me some sign of regularity!!!